Welcome to the Real World/Take your Best Shot
It’s been a shitty week. While my line of work doesn’t usually expect long hours, I have been doing some insane time and not feeling very appreciated.
Welcome to the real world, you say.
Just feel like general crap. And it’s not helping that my lower back feels like somebody has been whacking it with a baseball bat, or that I have cramps that make double over in pain.
Work is being shitty, I don’t if it’s the cold that’s freezing my brain but I feel like I am saying “Uh…duhhh” with a stupid look on my face every time someone tries to explain something to me and REALLY struggling, more so than normal, with the accounting side of my work. I’m not an accountant and God only knows those who are how they can decipher the jumble of numbers from different reports.
On the bright side, the photographer sent us our photos from our photoshoot a couple of weeks ago. I was surprised at how quickly he got them to us, but wasn’t about to question his timing when I was eager to see whether I could have a modelling career in the works.
And well….as crap as it is at times, I think I’ll stick to my day job.
Some of the shots were great – I couldn’t believe that it was me. But I hated them at the same time. I know I was probably being too hard on myself, but I couldn’t see past my flabby arms, the hint of a double chin and my fucking ‘curvaceous’ figure. Get over it, I am told. And I try. Oh, Lord how I try. I think I am meant to live forever with the insecurity of body image.
Evs got pissed off at me and told me that if I was so bloody worried about my figure then I shouldn’t have done it in the first place. And that next time just put a bag over my head. I kinda felt stupid after that, but one thought kept niggling at me…
Really, if I was serious I’d need a bag for my whole body: P.
The whole experience was really eye-opening. I have a grudging sort of respect for models now…well…ok I always did, knowing how hard it is to be fierce all the time, but really…modelling is hard work. You have to be so aware of everything – the garment, the positioning of your every limb, the artistic creation of the photographer and of course, your face.
We had to be all pouty and snarly, ok really, just not smile to give that feeling of editorial edginess. I think I managed to pull more of a blank look in the moments that I was trying hard not to pull a muscle when trying not to laugh as Sam and Evs made funny faces. Sometimes it worked.
The photographer was slightly obsessed with the concept of a lightbox and experimenting with shades of light and dark and we spent a good hour or so shivering in the cold studio (which was realistically a dump and home to many other artistic endeavours judging by the doof-doof noises and the screech of the electrical guitar from upstairs). Finally after playing around all the different flashes and lights and set up we got to it. I was given the most awkward position and I was wishing as I held the pose that I had pumped weights the day before because I struggled. He got some nice shots though and some that I could even possibly think about getting printed.
After a while it was evident that daylight was long gone and the light inside the studio wasn’t any better, so we called it a day. Sam was annoyed because he missed out on some solo shots at the end and sulked all the way home which just caused us to tease him even more.
Ok, so here are a few of the ones that I liked despite my self-loathing. Tell me what you think – reckon I can put Tyra out of business?? :P (Ok guys, kidding. Nobody messes with the Queen of Fierce!)
Current music: Fashion - Mar java
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32 comments:
I love the pic of both of u together!!!!!
U look wonderful and u really seem to have lost weight ever since ur last photo on the blog :)
LOVE the pictures! Every single one of them! You are soooooooo beautiful. :)
I had been looking forward to seeing the pictures since you mentioned the photo shoot. Thanks for sharing!
oooohhhhh niiiiceeeee!! u guys look soo good!!!!
what fat?where is it?
ohhh lovely!!!
ok, first of, Lovely Pics!! and what flabby arms? what double chin? that pic of you in the yellow sari, girl, you look skinny!! not to mention beautiful! Evs did some serious posing for his first picture didn't he??? I think you both were gorgeous!! Stop beating yourself up abt fat that only you can see.
at the risk of sounding like your Nana you look best when you are smiling beta. why the angry young woman look? your face lights up when you smile...tell that to the photographer obsessed with lighting.
@ dee - aww thanks babe - sigh - although the weight is creeping back up. Silly winter :(
@ Nas - babe - i need to take posing lessons from you!!! :D My face looks like a laddoo :P
@ la vida loca - laddoo face!!! and i ust look silly trying to look mean lol
@ ersa - shucks - thank you :)
@ kochab - thanks babe. Got to correct you there - that's my sister in the yellow sari :D She's uber skinny lol
OMG - he was the best poser of the lot!! hahah he's seen 'Zoolander' too many times - that was his 'Blue Steel' :P
@ aneela - oh i know!! i thought it was a bit silly but that's fashion for ya :P I prefer all the smiling shots that we got in the end
beautiful shots. flabby arms? hint of double chin??? where are they? may be i am blind :(
I do not see anything which you are mentioning.. where is the fat??
You look wonderful. I love that ochre saree and if you can look fab in a sleeveless blouse then I think you are perfect :)
WOW what a beautiful hair.....
You do gorgeous hair & a gorgeous face!!!
AWWW....you guys look good!!!
@ sandeep - too kind my friend :)
@ aathira - heheh thanks girl. the girl in the yellow sari is my sister tho!! the photographer has already had a photoshoot with her :)
@ anon - aww thank you :) I actually did it myself trying to get a curl in it :)
@ the koshymostafas - thanks sheena!! everyone is so kind :)
Kya aap meri film sign karengi, if ever made?? :D
childwoman~
okk... first time i'm seeing ur pics. and i don't see ANY fat/double chin/ flabby arms - nothing.
all i see is a pretty woman. and if you can look shapely and pretty in a saree... u're good! :)
so - unless u need to lose weight for medical reasons - u seem to be in good shape!
Oh my god! You guys look so good! And I love the way you are staring into the camera so intensely...you go girl!
OMG !!!!! the pictures are sooo good !!!!! You look great in a saree :)
Awesome shots..and beautiful pics!
I almost fell off my chair for the first one...that pic really yells Silvara is a model material! W-O-W
Evs has this chiseled kinda look..he manges to hold well for the shots and your sis is gorgeous!
You stop thinking too much into that non-existent flab and fat miss..we don't believe you, k? :P
@ childwoman - lol wish i could act and not quite in the league of the bollywood babes out there :)thank you tho :P
@ rayshma - man....i REALLY must have the harshest light on myself if u guys can't see what i see lol. But thank you - need to lose weight to regain my sanity i think lol :)
@ shilpa - hehe a little too intense methinks :P but it was a lot of fun :)
@ prashanti - thank you babe - i actually really love wearing a sari and this is one of my faves :)
@ alwayshappykya - the first one is my favourite as well :)
Evs is a natural born poser lol - took the modelling like a duck to water!
Hehehe ok ok...I'm going to have to do some before and after shots soon lol
Work hasnt been the best for me either...lately its all beginning to suck and the times r tough too.
U look RAVISHING girl WOW! Very nice...very modellish :)
Love the black saree too!
Keshi.
You look really good. My favourite is the first one. I love it.
And your and E's spawn are going to be gorgeous, you know that :)
You are NOT fat.....stop worrying n enjoy life :)
#1 and #5 are fantastic! #6 and #9 are very well done, but the light box is a bit distracting... #7 and #8 really needed a hair light to separate it from the background.
Altho I know you just from your prev blog pics!
Trust me I dint recognise you, you have lost so much weight!!!!!!
And I think whatever lil is left which you keep cribbing about is all in your head :P
Luurve the pics!!
@ keshi - i know the feeling babe :(
it'll get better hopefully!
and thank you :D You and me gotta pose together - dirve those boys wild :D
@ srakih - heheh that's my fave as well.
Awwww hahah although that is yet to be seen :P
@ priyanka - ok ji. will stop obsessing.....kinda :P
@ xiao - heya! thank you - and this coming from a photography guru! To be honest, he was just playing around with a lot of ideas and some came out well, some not so well. And yes I agree for the last ones :)
@ ohhh darl - that's so sweet :D I still have a massively gol (round) face...yech :P
I like the first shot alot...so artistic and u look soooooo LIFEY...I mean it's very real to life :)
o u and me, we'll drive em all up the walls I guess haha!
Keshi.
wow! seriously, wow!
you are beautiful couple.
This is so weird.
I think I was commenting on 'Eve emancipation's facebook status the other day, and I saw this pic that looked REALLY nice! The pose, the lighting, everything. And I clicked on the profile, saw the pic a bit more clearly and thought 'Ah she must be a model!'
And guess what. Today I come to your blog for THE FIRST TIME and I see the exact pic here! I literally shouted out- ITS HER!!!
Hehe.
Very very nice pics! :)
@ keshi - thanks hehe that's my fave as well :)
just give me the time and place darl and we'll drive them bonkers :P
@ bombaygirl - thank you :D
@ laalay ki jan - awww that's so sweet - thank you :)
@ miss m - OMG! lol what a coincidence! that's hilarious :P
have blogrlled u too btw :)
you guys are looking good.... :)
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